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Since the departure of voluptuous vamp Theda Bara from the silver screen, actors have always gone to extremes to maintain a certain look. Let’s not pretend that Old Hollywood was a progressive haven of body positivity. Despite accusations of being an incel icon, it is Heath Ledger’s Joker, not Christian Bale’s chaste and sexless Batman, who exudes the most sexual energy in the Dark Knight trilogy.Īnd speaking of Christopher Nolan’s inexplicably sexless oeuvre-did anyone else think it odd how Inception enters the deepest level of a rich man’s subconscious and finds not a psychosexual Oedipal nightmare of staggering depravity, but… a ski patrol? In defiance of Norse mythology, Chris Hemsworth’s Thor smiles at Natalie Portman like a dumb golden retriever puppy without ever venturing to rend her asunder with his mighty hammer, so to speak. Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor utterly lack the sexual chemistry to convince us that either of them would be thirsty enough to commandeer a coma victim’s body (as they do in Wonder Woman 1984) so they can enjoy a posthumous hookup. We’re told that Tony Stark and Pepper Potts are an item, but no actual romantic or sexual chemistry between them is shown in the films. The answer, of course, is not anymore-at least not when it comes to modern blockbusters These scenes didn’t shock us when we first saw them. When revisiting a beloved Eighties or Nineties film, Millennial and Gen X viewers are often startled to encounter long-forgotten sexual content content: John Connor’s conception in Terminator, Jamie Lee Curtis’s toplessness in Trading Places, the spectral blowjob in Ghostbusters. Even when they have sex, no one is horny. Everyone is beautiful.Īnd yet, no one is horny. Even background extras are good-looking, or at least inoffensively bland. Everyone is beautiful.Īnd this isn’t just the lead and the love interest: supporting characters look this way too, and even villains (frequently clad in monstrous makeup) are still played by conventionally attractive performers.
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There is some talk of diets, though not terribly detailed-and no mention of steroids or other hormonal supplements, even though male actors’ suddenly ultra-swole selfies on Instagram suggest physiques crafted with chemical assistance.Īctors are more physically perfect than ever: impossibly lean, shockingly muscular, with magnificently coiffed hair, high cheekbones, impeccable surgical enhancements, and flawless skin, all displayed in form-fitting superhero costumes with the obligatory shirtless scene thrown in to show off shredded abs and rippling pecs.Įven background extras are good-looking, or at least inoffensively bland. We watch actors doing burpees or shaking ropes with expensive personal trainers. The promotional cycles for blockbuster movies now include detailed descriptions of the performers’ fitness regimens. It was all bullshit: no one looks like that without calorie restriction. Skinny celebrities confessed their love of burgers and fries in magazines models undergoing profile interviews engaged in public consumption of pasta leading ladies joked about how little they exercised and how much they hated it.
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In the early 2000s, there was a brief period where actresses pretended that their thinness was natural, almost accidental.
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No one flirts.Ī room full of beautiful, bare bodies, and everyone is only horny for war. Another talks about how badly he wants to kill the enemy.
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Another joined in the hopes of receiving her breeding license. One joined for the sake of her political career. The topic of conversation? Military service, of course. On the surface, it is idyllic: racial harmony, gender equality, unity behind a common goal-and firm, perky asses and tits.Īnd then the characters speak. It is, of course, the shower scene, in which our heroic servicemen and -women enjoy a communal grooming ritual. When Paul Verhoeven adapted Starship Troopers in the late 1990s, did he know he was predicting the future? The endless desert war, the ubiquity of military propaganda, a cheerful face shouting victory as more and more bodies pile up?īut the scene that left perhaps the greatest impact on the minds of Nineties kids-and the scene that anticipated our current cinematic age the best-does not feature bugs or guns. Everyone Is Beautiful and No One Is Horny Modern action and superhero films fetishize the body, even as they desexualize it.